there were more penises there than on chat roulette
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
