The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
