Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
