He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
