she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
