Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
