About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
