i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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