I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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