I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
