you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
