Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
