I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
