So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize