i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
