Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
