okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
