and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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