This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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