you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The beer is more important than you right now.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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