Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
