he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
