Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
