I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
