The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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