Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
