I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
