Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
