they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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