Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
