I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
