Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
