so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
