shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
