Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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