What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize