I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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