she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
