im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
