Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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