Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize