My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
