I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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