I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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