I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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