shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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