I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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