I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
