I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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