Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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