if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
