They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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