We're like a lot better than the average bears
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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