I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize