A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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