I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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