just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
