i just google imaged poop.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
