Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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