There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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