Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
