she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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