Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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