Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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