We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
