I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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