Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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