she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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