I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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