yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
