Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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