I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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