On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
