A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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