Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
