By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
