your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
