I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize