i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
