you have to choose: penises or morals?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
