He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
