yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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