So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize