I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
